my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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