Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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