So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
