Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
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dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Two words: nipple clamps
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