mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
