How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
