There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
