i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
