smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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