so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
