Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
