Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How naked do you want me to be?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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