We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I look better un-naked...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
