I just made out with a guy for $7.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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