around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
