Kiss
Puke
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
