I love black thongs
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
