I need help removing her.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
