Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
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