"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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