this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
