I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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