Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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