So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
We have so much sex to catch up on
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen