He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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