Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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