Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
