i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Randomize
