Can Purell be used as lube?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
