I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
