Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
