i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
