everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
