You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
