hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
