garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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