On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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