Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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