she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
