the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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