we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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