I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
