I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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