Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
