Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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