if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
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Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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