Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
whose parrot is this?
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