dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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