It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
