Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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