She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
