Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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