so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
