Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
