i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We talked him into tasing himself.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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