You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
