after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
