While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
