you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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