How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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