Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
