He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
