I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
its liver damage thursday
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
