..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
