OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
